hands off my ice cream

disclaimer: this will likely be the most seinfeldesque post i've ever written. proceed cautiously.

so what's the deal with hand dipped ice cream? i can't remember the first time i saw a sign telling me an ice cream was hand dipped, but i remember being confused. i mean, what's the point? i suppose it does distinguish a certain kind of ice cream from another, say soft serve or homemade. but i think there's also this arrogance like people are going to extra trouble to hand dip this stuff. like i should be impressed that you had to scoop the ice cream. and really, is that any more work than twisting the cone under the spout of the soft serve? if anything, i think making a good twisty cone is harder.

well the other day i seriously heard the most moronic extension of this marketing: hand spun milkshakes. really? you mean you actually went to the trouble to hold a cup in your hand as a machine mixed the stuff around. robots didn't do this? oh, well then i'll have one. i was on the fence, but now that i know what enormous trouble you went to, sign me up.

i'm living suede.

to scoot or not to scoot

so because i'm a tree hugging hippie commie, i bought a scooter a couple weeks ago - to try and cut all ties with exxon mobil and their ilk. i really, REALLY like it. it's a blue honda metropolitan (i know, could i be any more metro?!). it gets, no lying, 100+ mpg. and it's really zippy to ride around on. i'm thinking of calling it "peppy" (i hope someone, maybe casey, gets the curb reference). but, of course, anytime i try to advance the cause of reason and sensibility let alone care for the environment or good stewardship, the "man" has to put his boot on my neck in a way that defies all logic.

i bought the scooter in tennessee, cause i just like trafficking vehicles across state lines. but i tried to do the right thing and take it in to the courthouse to pay tax on it and get it registered and all that legal stuff. let me preface what follows by saying the people who work there seem to hate life and their jobs a lot. people that work in fast food have more joy. anyway, i ask them what i need to do and show them my forms. this one lady (who just loathes me) gets on the phone with someone for a while. she returns and tells me it's illegal for me to ride it on the road; it can only be used for offroad purposes. um, it's a scooter. it's having enough trouble navigating a course that isn't circling the arch de triomphe. but it's certainly not IN ANY WAY for offroading. but the reason she gave me is the kicker: the minimum engine size they'll register is 50cc ~ "peppy" is, wait for it, 49cc. UNACCEPTABLE.

so i guess this place will be my selma or something. i'm not taking it back. i'm going to flagrantly break the law on a regular basis. i answer to a God that loves creation and hates violence, and i'm going to ride this vehicle that barely pollutes and doesn't cause wars. i know that doesn't make sense to most people around the planet, but i'm about changing their minds. in the meantime i'll probably be setting up a legal defense fund for the inevitable court battles ahead. i know i can count on you for a cake with a saw in it when it comes to that. viva la revolution!

worse than fiction

just when i think i've heard the most ridiculous thing possible, i remember there's always room for improvement. i've now heard twice about the environmental protection agency sending the bush administration a document about controlling greenhouse gases. this document was the result of the epa obeying a ruling from the supreme court. as this the new york times article reports, the bush administration chose to ignore the document by refusing to open the e-mail which held the document. http://www.nytimes.com/2008/06/25/washington/25epa.html?_r=1&adxnnl=1&oref=slogin&adxnnlx=1214920490-3WOjSZifpRF+CKY/LyYC8w

i guess normally i would be outraged at a branch of government behaving like a petulant child with his fingers in his ears yelling in order to ignore what he doesn't want to hear. but really it's just par for the course, so i've pretty much accepted it. the truly outraging part is that it continues to work, as it did with the epa which sent a revised document watering down its proposals. hey, you can't fault a winning strategy.

maybe at some point there will be enough rational, passionate people to hold government officials accountable and fire them for incompetency and bumbling disregard for all ethics. but apparently that's not gonna happen today. today we're just like the white house - willfully ignoring the obvious disaster ahead.

like francis

i was all set to take a trip to assisi in a few months, but events conspired to throw that off the rails. if i ever get to go i hope to hear more stories about st. francis who has always intrigued me. legend has it francis was born into a wealthy family but one day encountered a beggar (who i think had previously terrified francis) and saw in him the image of Christ. from that day on francis renounced his family's wealth, perhaps even stripping off his clothes in front of his cloth merchant father. francis then went on to live the life of a beggar and to serve the poor.

the other day i was ending up some travels in my hometown, and i went to eat at a sub shop. inside was a girl's softball team. one of the team moms was in front of me in line, and i experienced maybe the opposite of what francis did. her behavior in that short time might have robbed from me any future ability to really see anything Christ-like in a certain section of the population. she seemed to be the embodiment of those who serve manna. there was no kindness in her shown to the girls on the softball team or the staff working at the restaurant. she was actually very rude to everyone. her children's names were attempts at outdoing others in trendiness. i simply found it almost impossible to consider loving her because it seemed she cared nothing about love, compassion, sacrifice. she only cared about herself and victory.

i've lived a fairly privileged life, like francis' up to a point. and i'm not close to being able to sell everything i have and give the money to the poor (which i think Jesus actually wants us to do, not just be able to do). but i think i'm ready to call the old tale i've heard in the Church for so long about how the rich are as needy as the poor nothing more than a lie that i refuse to perpetuate. all the symptoms of being rich that are always trotted out (loneliness, depression, stress, etc.) can be alleviated very simply: stop being rich. stop believing that God wants you to be rich in anything other than love and communion with others. realize why Jesus had no possessions and no home.

francis gave his life for the poor, and i often wish i could follow in the same way. but i now belong to an order of clergy where i agree to go where i'm sent. in this way, success often means ending up at very wealthy churches and likely tending to the "problems" associated with wealth. i will seek to love people no matter where i'm sent, but i'm already praying that i'll be more often in ministry with the poor who are not so blinded by possessions and property that they can no longer see Christ.

a penny saved

lots has been happening lately, and a good bit of it has been totally absurd. but it's been happening at such a break-neck pace (i hate that phrase) i've been forgetting most of it before recording it here. here's one thing that happened. it totally isn't worth writing about - but most things i write about aren't.

i'm in jackson (my hometown) for a few days, and i went out to eat with my buddy ben (whose wedding i'm co-presiding at this weekend). we went to rafferty's - one of my favorite jackson places. it has the greatest chicken tenders. actually, it's the sauce that i love so much. the chicken tenders are pretty average. but this sauce is unbelievable. i recently found out (i can't tell you how) that the sauce is just bbq sauce and honey mustard mixed together. now, it took me years of searching and doing unspeakable deeds to find this out. it was like a search for the holy grail. i was telling ben how much i loved the sauce and how it took me so long to figure it out, and just instantly he said "oh, what is it bbq sauce and honey mustard mixed together?" that's just the kinda friendship we have.

anyway, so we order the exact same food. the only difference is he gets a sweet tea, and i get a coke (which was sub-par. i'm a big snob when it comes to coke. props to chappy's in auburn. consistently the best coke i've had in a long time. i'll miss it). our check comes (just one so there's no telling the orders apart) and one of us is being charged a penny more. well, we were just about to burn the place to the ground when she brought us back the receipts to sign, and they were the same price: a penny less (or rather, the one didn't have the extra penny). i guess she knew we weren't to be trifled with.

best post ever!

a new blog

i've decided to launch an additional blog. i know, i barely write on this blog anymore so launching another one probably seems double crazy. it might be, but i feel like i need to do so. for the past couple of years i have become increasingly committed to practices of environmental stewardship (greening, care for the environment, tree hugging, whatever). my motives are primarily theological. i believe God created everything that exists and gave us the cognitive capacity to care for it all. we've done not such a great job recently, and i think it's certainly time for churches and church leaders to lead the way. if we are so adamant about God creating the universe then we must be willing to treat the resources of the planet accordingly. so i'm launching this new blog to deal specifically with these issues. i know i could post them on here, but there is already other content on here, and i want to devote the other blog solely to the environmental purpose. i'm going to try to write on the other blog at least once a week. i'm also going to try to write more on here, and as my life faces some changes soon, i doubt i'll have any lack of material. i'll simply have to make time to share it. but, i hope you'll check out www.goinggreenforgod.blogspot.com as much as you can and share your thoughts about caring for creation.

working for a living

i don't really have much to say, but it's the week of earth day and it's nice to see the tv networks all green and focused on that and everything. but of course i know that'll be over soon. maybe earth day will be the new Christmas when corporations learn more and more how to capitalize on it. i just know that there are two places very close to me - one literally right next to the piece of land i live on - where they are cutting down lots of trees. i've heard chainsaws and bulldozers all through "earth week." i actually like the smell of pine in the air, but then i remember why it lingers so heavy.

i try and put myself in the place of the people cutting down all the trees and realize they are just doing a job. but then i also think, people making missiles and guns and bullets - just doing a job. bartenders that allow people to drink way too much and then drive and kill someone - just earning a living. drug dealers - everyone has to pay the rent. i think the latter categories are much more severe than people who cut down trees for a living - i'm not that far gone just yet, and as long as i use paper or anything else made from wood, i have to allow for people to provide it. i just want there to be some consciousness in all professions of what is taking place - how much good is being done versus the harm, and some attempt at tilting the scales toward the good would be nice. probably some professions have to go. but martin luther thought Christians could serve God as executioners, so i could be wrong.

so yeah, some recognition of as big a picture as possible and the attempt to do the best we can. that might just start with people who cut down trees taking this week off.