the silence of God

It's enough to drive a man crazy; it'll break a man's faith
It's enough to make him wonder if he's ever been sane
When he's bleating for comfort from Thy staff and Thy rod
And the heaven's only answer is the silence of God

It'll shake a man's timbers when he loses his heart
When he has to remember what broke him apart
This yoke may be easy, but this burden is not
When the crying fields are frozen by the silence of God

And if a man has got to listen to the voices of the mob
Who are reeling in the throes of all the happiness they've got
When they tell you all their troubles have been nailed up to that cross
Then what about the times when even followers get lost?
'Cause we all get lost sometimes...

There's a statue of Jesus on a monastery knoll
In the hills of Kentucky, all quiet and cold
And He's kneeling in the garden, as silent as a Stone
All His friends are sleeping and He's weeping all alone

And the man of all sorrows, he never forgot
What sorrow is carried by the hearts that he bought
So when the questions dissolve into the silence of God
The aching may remain, but the breaking does not
The aching may remain, but the breaking does not
In the holy, lonesome echo of the silence of God

- Andrew Peterson

on parsonages

i have been woefully absent on this blog lately. much has been happening all around, and i've wanted to write about it. but i simply haven't been able to focus on one thing. power was restored to my house (after two weeks without it), most order has been restored to the area where i live. the cleanup continues but will for quite a while. the way people have come together and helped each other has been inspiring and impressive to see. i'm hoping the reaching out in compassion will become more of a rule and less of an exception.

one of the truly interesting things about being a pastor is living in a parsonage. of course all pastors don't live in parsonages, and within united methodism parsonages seem to be going extinct in favor of housing allowances. good arguments can be made either way. i know some people who really dread the idea of living "in someone else's home.' but, i also have friends outside the ministry who are constantly knocked down that i just get a house for free. and i have been extremely fortunate in the two homes i've been given.

neither has been extravagant. no jacuzzi tub or swimming pool. at the same time, both have been more than i need in a house in terms of space. both have had great yards and either a patio or deck. i've been able to have a music room and an office in each while also having a spare bedroom (like i said, lots of room for just a guy and his dog). the houses have seemed to balance each other out. while the one i'm in now has a garage (which i've always wanted and love!) the house in alabama had great trees in the yard while i now only have one (thanks to the ice storm). the tie might go to the current parsonage simply because there is a front porch - another thing i've always wanted. the other night, i sat out on it while it was raining. there's just something about being outside but being slightly covered that i've always liked.

so yeah, who knows what i'll live in next? but so far, i have been very lucky with what i've been given.

tom petty's wrong

sometimes you do have to live like a refugee. case in point, me right now. i'm a displaced person as my state of residence (kentucky) was hit by what its governor referred to as the worst natural disaster the state has faced - at least in recent history. who knew ice could destroy so much stuff (other than dennis quaid)?

i lost power tuesday at noon, and with the power went my water (since i'm on a well that uses an electric pump) and my heat (since i'm on gas that uses an electric thermostat). so i went around and checked on as many church members as i could. then i packed up the pup and headed south. i've been bouncing around like a vagabond ever since, but some nice people have put up with me. i go back tomorrow to see what things are like. i'm hoping the pipes haven't burst and flooded the house - that's already happened once in my life, and it wasn't fun.

but now i truly know what the israelites in exile faced, so i will have a much deeper understanding of their plight. and those displaced by katrina or the tsunami, i feel like now we have something in common. wow - now i'm starting to sound like blagojevich.

why you gotta act like you know when you don't know?

last week i was in the ticket line at the movies, and two women were behind me talking about different options. one of the women mentioned that she wanted to see "doubt." the other asked what "doubt" was about. the first woman then preceded to describe some movie that had little to nothing to do with "doubt." she had no idea who was in it or what the plot was, but that didn't stop her speculating. i was actually laughing to myself a little thinking "she's gonna be really disappointed if she sees this movie cause it's not at all what she thinks it is."

i know i'm guilty of this sometimes too, but what's wrong with just saying "i don't know"? why do we have to pretend to be experts at everything? given the vast scope of knowledge in existence, it's not at all inconceivable that there are many things i/we simply don't know. so where's the harm in owning up to that and being honest?

i guess i find this ultimately frustrating in issues dealing with faith and God. again, i would say the majority of things dealing with God we simply don't know. it is guesswork, but then again, that's what faith is. there is no point or need for faith when we can prove something or have certainty about it. but efforts to "prove the existence of God" are inherently flawed because in seeking to bolster faith they actually negate its relevance.

so i've really tried to be honest with people in my churches when they ask me faith questions about life after death or the character of God. i direct them to places in scripture, and i tell them about different theories or beliefs throughout the life of the Church - but i also remind them that we don't know, and quite importantly, i don't know. to some, even perhaps many, this is troubling. after all, i'm supposed to be an expert and have answers about this stuff. but i'm hoping my honesty to admit the vast number of things i don't know or understand will keep me and others asking, seeking, knocking, exploring, and learning. even if all we learn is how much we don't know.

counting down and counting crows

so "counting crows" is one of my favorite bands, and yet i constantly forget this and how much i truly love lots of their stuff. of course, this time of year i always remember "a long december." it has one of the greatest opening lines to any song, and certainly a fitting one when turning over a new (secular/pagan) year (since we Christians started our year like a month ago). so it's my standard line and has been for some time, and it's as much a prayer as i usually have in me for a new year - in kind of an irish way:

"a long december, and there's reason to believe maybe this year will be better than the last."

but then the other day i was driving and "holiday in spain" came on. it hit me, for the first time, that my favorite line (verse) from that song would be perhaps even more appropriate. so here goes - for a new year - a new, old line.

"well happy new year's baby. we could probably fix it if we clean it up all day. or we could simply pack our bags and catch a plane to barcelona cause this city's a drag. i may...take a holiday in spain, leave my wings behind me - flush my worries down the drain and fly away to somewhere new. take a holiday in spain, leave my wings behind me - drive this little girl insane and fly away to someone new."

i could be wrong

something has been bothering me for a while, but obviously not enough to keep me from forgetting to write about it (or anything for that matter). but there's a saying that's getting more play lately about an elephant in the room. i think it's meant to convey a serious issue that people are completely ignoring rather than addressing. if so, it's one of the worst metaphorical images ever. i mean, would anyone be able to ignore an elephant in the room with them? would they even go into a room with an elephant or have an elephant come into their room without bolting out the window?

regardless, the problem i'm having is with the twisting of this simple phrase. i've heard several times someone speak of "the white elephant in the room." i don't think the elephant's race matters, but i do believe this confuses the simple elephant in the room with a white elephant gift - which if memory serves is just a crappy gift (used maybe for dirty santa or yankee swap or exchange the white elephant gift).

then the other day, i heard on a network news show (not surprising) something about "a 400 lb elephant in the room." this is dumb on many levels. first, i'm pretty sure it's a 400 lb gorilla. second, i mean really, maybe an elephant's leg weighs 400 lbs. maybe it might weigh that in the first week of its life. but elephants weigh several tons. a person could weigh 400 lbs, which should be a pretty good clue an elephant likely doesn't.

i know it's not a big deal or anything, but it just bothers me that information has never been easier to attain and yet everyone - especially the "experts" - seem to be getting dumber by the minute. i guess ease begets laziness and a complete lack of concern regarding accuracy. after all, as ringo said, "it don't come easy." or was it george?

get candy!

a few weeks ago i noticed a candy bowl in my friend lora jean's office. it was full of yummy starbursts - one of my favorite candies. this brought about a crucial question for me: what is the best kind of community candy to put in a bowl? i think it might be starbursts. first, they draw immediate attention because of their bold colors. second, they are individually wrapped. this helps prevent the spread of germs by allowing people to root through the bowl (if red ones - the best - are not easily accessible) and not poison another person's candy. finally, they are amazing.

so here's a new poll - just in time for all hallows eve. please choose the best community candy. remember, this is the best candy to put in a hypothetical bowl in your alleged office and have random freeloaders steal from. it'd be great if you'd leave a comment explaining the motives for your answer or your choice if you select "other."