06 January 2016

My Greatest Temptation

My small group is focusing on call narratives in Matthew 4 and Mark 1. As the product of a great divinity school, I always like to read the portions of Scripture before and after a text to get a better sense of the context - especially as the stories were assembled.

Matthew 4 begins with Jesus' encounter with the tempter in the wilderness. I have heard many fascinating lectures and sermons on this passage and the idea of Jesus' temptation. It is interesting to note that the text says, "Jesus was led up by the Spirit..." and what implications this notion holds. I always enjoy hearing different preachers and scholars discuss the three temptations and what each one symbolizes. However, considering that this passage immediately precedes the start of Jesus' ministry in Matthew and the call of disciples, I noticed something I haven't heard discussed much. Perhaps the greatest temptation undergirding all the temptations mentioned in the passage is in fact my greatest temptation: flying solo.

By "flying solo" I mean trying to do everything by yourself - not seeking or asking for help - and believing that you are in fact meant to accomplish whatever it is you are to accomplish alone. This is in fact the temptation that I struggle with most. I am a perfectionist and a control freak. All throughout my time in school I loathed group work. My general response, either silently or aloud, was, "What do you mean I have to work with these morons who don't have any idea what they are doing?!" I was obviously extremely popular.

I am learning that much of my wailing and gnashing of teeth around working with others boils down to trust. I simply do not trust others enough. I do not trust myself enough to be okay with the results if they are less than stellar (and of course I have a ridiculously large ego to imagine that the results will be stellar if I control everything). And yet God trusts us. In the Old Testament, God worked in many ways through individuals, but those individuals who succeeded always had help both from God and others. And God primarily worked through Israel as a whole by choosing a people (not one person) to accomplish God's purposes for the world. This story is one of continued failure, forgiveness, and further extending of trust. In the incarnation, God trusts that the mission of love and restoration of all creation is worth the greatest risk of all - rejection by that which you love most. And we did reject God, and we do reject God, and we will reject God. Yet God continues to risk it all by not giving up on us, I believe, ever.

I think God in Jesus had endless options. Jesus did not need the tempter to give him power. Jesus had all power already. But instead of flying solo, Jesus called disciples. He assembled a team. They were lousy at most things, and yet, through them God changed the entire course of the world. Not bad if you ask me. Maybe I can learn something from this. Perhaps we all can.