not hyperbole

wow, i've done a really great job of writing regularly on here. it's encouraging that i post fewer writings each month. so i guess this one will knock out my november quota. but at least i'm coming back strong, because i have a story that may be the most preposterous thing i've ever dealt with.

a few weeks ago i went to get my driver's license transferred from tennessee to alabama. i think i've voiced my disgust for having to do things like this when we supposedly live in a country of "united states." oh was my temper not prepared for what was to follow!

so my number gets called, and thankfully i don't have to retake some test of knowledge i've totally forgotten and never been called upon to use while driving. i just show this nice lady my old license, take a vision test, and start filling out the paperwork for the new one. i have to show her my birth certificate, and that's when she says to me, "so you realize you don't have a middle name." "what?!" she continues, "yeah on your birth certificate, it doesn't have your full middle name, just your middle initial. so in the eyes of the state, your middle name is 'b'." i insist, "but the 'b' stands for my middle name which is brent." she counters, "well we can't put that on anything, and officially that's not your name. now, you can of course get your name legally changed to be 'brent' but for now it isn't." fuming, i respond, "so i would have to get my name changed to be what my name already is?!" "yes."

well i'm pretty much beside myself at this point. what's especially interesting is that my social security card has my full middle name. i wonder where they got it from. so i called my mom to yell at her about giving me a middle letter instead of a name, and she insists that she put my full name on the paperwork. she later found the paperwork, and sure enough, she did her part.

so now the prevailing theory points the blame at a lazy typist somewhere in the tennessee government who couldn't be bothered to type four more letters that would have made all the difference in the world to me. thanks to this person, my new nemesis, my middle name will legally just be "b."