movie reviews

i've often thought that if i failed at everything else (which isn't out of the question yet) i could still make a living reviewing movies. i'm opinionated beyond belief, and i've seen most movies in existence - some many, many times. i've actually thought so much about this i've developed my own rating system. if someone rips this off i hope this blog holds up in court.

see it in the theater - the best level. the system is mostly based on how much money you have to spend, and since seeing a movie in the theater is like $20, this is about as good as it gets. the movie either has to be exceptional or it has to be a movie that really must be seen in the theater to be fully appreciated. this can be hard given the impressive home theaters so many people have.

rent it - the movie is definitely worth seeing, but don't spend all your money on it. it can be fully appreciated at home and if seen with the right setup might be just as good.

watch it on tv - i generally don't like watching movies on tv. they cut stuff out, and of course you have to deal with commercials. but for movies i don't care that much about - i don't really care. maybe it's unfair to judge a movie based on a lackluster presentation, but chances are i've seen it in all its glory and i'm saving you the disappointment and expense.

don't bother - sadly most movies will get this rating. blame my persona if you will, but given the number of movies that come out in a year it's just in the numbers that most of them will be junk. and it's pretty clear that we ran out of good ideas years ago and we're just regurgitating stuff onto the screen.

so with the system in mind, here are a few movies i've seen recently. "i am legend" - my family sees a movie for Christmas every year. last year my family listened to my older brother and ditched "the pursuit of happyness" to see "the good shepherd." it's a decision that will never be forgiven as long as we all live. "pursuit of happyness" - rent it/"good shepherd" - don't bother. so this year we gave him a shot at redemption and forced "i am legend" on him. well, it was worlds better than "good shepherd" if only because it wasted about one third less of my life. i'm thinking it would have been better overall if i'd been able to go in totally clean - i hate knowing anything about a movie i see. in this case i had heard too much. so if you want to see it like i would want to - stop reading now. i liked the setup of a cure for cancer that had horrible consequences, but the convenience of smith's character being immune was a bit much. his acting was for the most part quite good. he especially handled the madness of being all alone really well. the dog - i just wish they'd left all of that undone. the effects were pretty great, but i could have done without the movie being an extended Ford ad. the zombies were worlds more annoying than scary or anything else. all in all, "rent it" but watch it at your friend's house with the big plasma screen and bose surround sound.

"national treasure: book of secrets" - i took my youth group to see it when "fred claus" was eliminated. i still haven't seen the first movie, but i recently learned of a deep love one of my friends (cat) for the "national treasure" genre. i was at first horrified, but i guess i've come to understand her position. i mean, you know it's not gonna win any oscars, but it succeeds at its mission. it's entertaining and generally wholesome. you get to see some pretty cool places and learn some useful trivia. if you have at least a tenth grader's knowledge of american history this movie will make you feel pretty smart. like i knew about the plot to kill lincoln and the people involved and what the Resolute Desk was and a few other things i've forgotten. my main gripes involve disney's obsession with vindicating even the villian (which if the things i've heard about disney being a nazi sympathizer are true i guess shouldn't surprise me) and the fact that several beautiful people are in the movie and the only ones that kiss are jon voigt and the aged woman playing his ex-wife. i truly don't need or want to see that. so yeah, if you've got a family or a youth group or want to hang out with someone else's family - see it in the theater. if not, watch it on tv.

i was pretty excited about seeing "charlie wilson's war." i like tom hanks and philip seymour hoffman - julia roberts i can tolerate. i generally love anything aaron sorkin touches. well, it was good and moments of it were pretty great, but again, i think i went in knowing too much. i didn't even know a lot about the real charlie wilson - but i know plenty about the cold war. put those things together and there weren't really any surprises. everyone did a fine job - but special mention goes to hoffman and julia roberts' dogs. rent it - but mainly because the funniest parts wouldn't make it on tv.

by way of a preview - i'm declaring "the dark knight" to be amazing based solely on the trailer. i can't believe i'm writing this, but by the few seconds i've seen heath ledger looks incredible as the joker. come soon june.