The Closest I've Ever Come to Strangling a Pharmacist (so far)

So a few weeks ago, after we got back from Disney, my wife and I were both sick.  Well, I was sicker earlier, so I got more medical attention in the form of a z-pack.  I was feeling much better, though not totally out of the woods when she comes down with "faucet nose."  Her nose is running non-stop - like stuff pouring out of it.  Eventually, this stuff turns yellow.  So I text our doc and ask her what my wife needs to do.  She says, and I'm quoting the actual text: "I would try Sudafed and ibuprofen for a couple of days, then if not better, we'll do more." 

So, we routinely take Advil Cold and Sinus or the generic of that when we get sinus issues, and that's what she recommended.  We had a few left from the last batch, but I figured we would need more to last us a couple days.  Keep in mind, I'm not totally great yet, so I plan on taking this also.

So I run to Walgreens to purchase the stuff.  In my state, a lot of people apparently make meth.  So anything with pseudoephedrine in it is more or less a controlled substance.  Can't just buy it, have to get a card and take it to the counter to purchase.  Before I've had to show my driver's license.  I should also say that I'm not rolling up in the Walgreens in a suit and tie.  I'd been working outside, so I was wearing running shorts and a t-shirt (bright green).  

I go get the card and take it to the counter.  The woman behind the counter says, you are going to have to talk to the pharmacist.  Okay, never had to do this before, but whatever.  So, I start talking with the pharmacist, and I'm going to share his name, because I want him to lose his job - Marvin McKenzie.  Marvin asks me if the drugs are for me.  I say that they are - not a lie, because I do intend to take some of them.  He then asks me my symptoms.  Again, perhaps a bit odd, but I'll play along.  I mention that I have pressure in my head, congestion, sore throat, and some yellow mucus.  He asks if my nose was running.  Now, my wife's nose is running, and I probably should have said "yes" because she would be taking this and really it's mostly for her - but my nose was not and really has never been runny with a sinus infection (it drains down in my throat and makes it like knives there).  So, I say "no."  He then asks if he can show me something else that better fits my symptoms.  I respond that I'd really prefer this product as I've used it many times before, it works, and my primary care physician advised me to get it.  All, I think, reasonable points.

He then precedes to tell me that the laws in Tennessee have changed, and "he has a license to protect."  Now, this offends me, because suddenly I feel that he sees me as being a threat to his license, and that seems rather bizarre.  So, I ask him if he needs to do a background check on me.  He declines.  Then, I give him the number of my doctor - her cell number in fact - and offer to show him her text message.  He tries to call her, but she doesn't answer.  He remains unconvinced about my threat level.  We go back and forth for a while, and my voice is increasing in pitch and volume.  Then, I finally ask him, "Do I need a prescription to get this?"  And he says, "No."  So, I say, "Well then I'd like to purchase it."  And he says, "I can't let you do that."  My brain basically collapses at this point, because I require for things to be somewhat based on reason and logic, and these two thoughts (not a prescription drug AND can't have it even though I don't need a prescription) couldn't co-exist in my head.  I yell at him a little more, and then I say, "Are you going to sell this to me?"  And he refuses.

So, I come home, and I scream a lot about it to my wife.  She then goes to CVS, acknowledges that she has a runny nose, and comes home with the medicine.

I hereby pledge never to shop at a Walgreens again if I can possibly avoid doing so.  I will advise everyone I know never to shop at Walgreens.  And I hope that Marvin McKenzie loses his job because he vastly overstepped his bounds in order to "protect his license." 

Obviously, I am a threat.